Sentence variation!

Lets look at the next two sentences.

"In the first forty days a boy had been with him. But after forty days without a fish the boy's parents had told him that the old man was now definitely and finally salao, which is the worst form of unlucky, and the boy had gone at their orders in another boat which caught three good fish the first week."

First, we see a vast difference between the two, providing the first learning point.
Lesson 1: Use different kinds and lengths of sentences.

Now, suppose Socrates were here.  He would ask us to define these two sentences, to identify their components and to determine what makes the sentences what they are?

The first sentence is a simple sentence. We define a simple sentence as any sentence with only one independent clause +/- any number of phrases. Recall an independent clause has a subject and verb with or without an object and can stand on its own.

So in the simple sentence In the first forty days a boy had been with him the independent clause is a boy had been with him because it contains a subject boy and a verb had been  and it can stand on its own and still make sense. 

In the first forty days is a prepositional phrase acting as an adverbial phrase (adverb phrase) because it modifies the past perfect continuous verb  had been  by describing how long the boy had been with the old man – it's a phrase because it lacks a subject and verb, and does not make sense on its own.  Notice In is the preposition, the is an article, first is an adverb modifying forty and forty is an adjective modifying days (the object of the prepositional phrase).

The second sentence is compound-complex (CCS): We define a CCS as one containing at least two independent clauses and at least one dependent clause.

The first independent clause is the boy's parents had told .

The second independent clause is the boy had gone

The first dependent clause is that the old man was now definitely and finally salao. Notice its subject man and the state of being verb was  makes it a clause, but its dependent because it still needs the independent clause it modifies to make sense. This clause is a noun (nominative) clause and acts as a direct object for the transitive verb had told in the independent clause. Recall a direct object is whatever answers the "what" of a transitive verb. Incidentally, the him pronoun just before the noun clause answers the question "to whom" for the verb had told and therefore him is an indirect object of the verb had told. Focusing just on the clause we see that serves only to introduce the clause, man is the subject and  was is a linking verb and since it is a linking verb we know the phrase now definitely and finally salao is the subject complement. Also, now is an adverb describing when definitely and finally while  definitely and finally are adjectives describing the noun (object of the clause) salao.

The next dependent clause is which is the worst form of unlucky. The subject is the pronoun which and the verb is the state of being verb is. The clause is an adjectival clause (adjective clause) modifying the noun salao and it is dependent because it doesn't make sense unless it has the independent clause to lean on. If you just look at the clause in isolation we see which is the subject, is is a linking verb and the worst form of unlucky is the subject complement acting as an adjectival phrase. Notice of unlucky is a prepositional  phrase acting as an adjective modifying form, which is the object of the clause while worst is an adjective also modifying the object form. Also note unlucky acts as a noun in the prepositional phrase but if you look the word up it is always stated to be an adjective with the noun form of unlucky being unluckiness. However, you have to admit unlucky sounds better. Perhaps this is where the genius and art of the writer take over, decorously breaking the rules for arts sake.

Lesson 2: Be creative with your word choice and don't be bound by traditional grammar if it will add variety and art in your writing.

The last dependent clause is  which caught three good fish the first week. The subject is the pronoun which and the verb is caught. This clause is an adjectival clause (adjective clause) that modifies the noun boat. Notice no comma is used to separate boat from which. This must occur because the adjective phrase is restrictive/essential/defining, in other words, the adjectival clause is needed by the  reader in order to know what boat the writer is referring to. Again, the clause is dependent because it cannot stand alone. Looking just at the clause the subject is which, the verb is caught, three and good are adjectives modifying the object fish while the first week is a prepositional phrase missing its preposition in and it acts as an adverbial phrase modifying caught. Perhaps leaving out the preposition in some cases is another sign of subtle art and in this case sounds appropriate and acts similar to an exclamative adding flourish to the sentence.

Lesson 3: Consider dropping  prepositions if it will create effects like we see here.

The first phrase is after forty days and it's a prepositional phrase acting as an adverbial phrase modifying the verb had told because it answers how long before the parents had told.

The second phrase is without a fish and it is a prepositional phrase acting as an adjectival phrase modifying days since it elaborates on what kind of days.

The third phrase is of unlucky and is a prepositional phrase already discussed above. 

The forth phrase at their orders is a prepositional phrase acting as an adverbial phrase modifying the verb had gone because it tells when he had gone.

The fifth phrase in another boat  is a prepositional phrase acting as a direct object in the second independent clause.

The last phrase  (in) the first week is a prepositional phrase already discussed above.

The first sentence is like a small sail boat using just one sail to maneuver through the readers mind.

The second sentence is a three masted galley, each clause helping it tack from one point to the next. 

Now lets turn to other learnings.

One could argue the two sentences play off each other subconsciously creating an antithesis in the readers mind. Here we see the importance of placing a simple beside a complex sentence when you want to jolt the reader to attention. The simple sentence draws the readers attention and the "but" at the beginning of the next sentence reinforces this attention creating a duple parallelism in awareness - like the awareness a fish experiences when its hooked and the fisherman jerks on the line a couple times to secure it. 

Lesson 4: Use simple sentences to grab reader attention, or use words that act as natural speed bumps at the beginning of sentences like the coordinating conjunctions: But, For, And, Nor, Or, Yet, So.

If you consider the first adverbial phrase,  In the first forty days it does a few things:

• it generates a suspensive element in the sentence by starting the sentence. This is an example of placing phrases at the start of sentences to generate suspense - by delaying the sentence's main point it creates a state of mystery many readers enjoy.
• it provides a biblical allusion most readers will recognize. Many think this adds complexity and indirect credibility because it forces your mind to think of the Noah, The Flood and metaphysical trials of belief. Again this can have a deep subconscious affect on the reader, leading to greater impact and enjoyment from the narrative.
• it plays on a subtle assonance for the mind's ear - first forty
• it juxtaposes two numerical descriptors, first and forty, which is quite an ingenious artifact.
• It uses the pronoun him to represent the old man which later contrasts itself in the following sentence with the pronoun him representing the boy - possibly generating a subconscious link of affinity in the readers mind between the two characters.

Lesson 5: Generate suspense in your writing by using prepositional phrases or any kind of phrase or clause to delay the main point of the sentence.

Lesson 6: Insert societal references, common histories, or anything from our experienced world into narrative to lend it more credibility and linkage of commonality/familiarity with the reader. 

Lesson 7: Use assonance and other word artifice to inject subtle poetical elements that appeal to the subconscious. 

Lesson 8: Use pronouns and other common words or combination of words to link your sentences together and improve sentence transition and paragraph cohesion. 

The independent clause A boy had been with him provides information about the old man's culture  (in many cultures  the young and old don't tend to interact unless they're related). The reference of a boy without stating if he is a relation helps generate readers interest about what this relationship is. 

Lesson 9: Write into your story the subtle characteristics of the cultural setting.

Lesson 10: Use showing not telling language and only give small amounts of detail, keeping most things concealed and unmentioned, forcing the reader to deal with dissonance and ask questions about what is going on. Read the first two chapters of The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner to get a clear idea of this technique at its extreme. I'll bet it first drives you crazy but you may come to appreciate its effects.

The simple sentence also has a very pleasant syllable rhythm, so when we read  In the first forty days a boy had been with him we hear six syllable beats followed by three two beat syllable sections producing the following rhythm:  tap tap tap tap tap tap, tap tap, tap tap, tap tap. Whether Hemingway actually planned this or if it's something projected out of his innate genius,  I don't  know.

Lesson 11: Commune with your inner Keith Moon and consider syllable rhythm in your writing, adding further layers of complexity.

When looking at the compound complex sentence and reading the two independent clauses the boy's parents had told  and the boy had gone in another boat notice the parallelism of the past tense verb complexes "had told" and "had gone" – they seem to glue the two independent clauses together.

The adverbial phrase "after forty days" creates another  parallelism with the first sentence's "forty days" and a rule of three parallelism using the word "days" if you consider the first sentence of the book, all helping with sentence transition and coherence. 

Lesson 12: See sixth learning point.

Incidentally , recent psychological research has shown the mind likes repetition and predictability, perhaps explaining the success of fast foods, movie sequels and predicable plot outcomes. So, to recapitulate, you may want to use the same word or word combinations a few times in a paragraph or successive paragraphs to act as sentence and paragraph tethers –like zip-lines between trees– to help the reader's mind easily navigate between sentence and paragraph propositions. 

This also raises the issue of diction and how many new words to add in your narrative. Personally I prefer variegated diction but this new research seems to say you should keep new diction to a limit – it likely depends on the reader you are writing for; if your readers are intellects then new diction is likely good but if you are writing for the proletariate, avoiding words that force the reader to look up and stress over - generally people don't like working hard and prefer spoon feeding – the evidence for this is on every street corner in the Westernized world.

In the noun clause  that the old man was now definitely and finally salao  the power of using words that the characters would say is shown; definitely and finally  - you can picture a scene where the parents are admonishing the boy about continuing to fish with the old man. The use of the spanish word salao adds texture and credibility to the sentence.

Lesson 13: Think about the characters you are writing about and use the words they would use when writing a scene since this helps layer the narrative realistically on more than one level. 

Penultimately, when reading words like; definitely, finally, salao (sallow in English means unhealthy), worst, unlucky linked to the old man while we read words like good uncoupled to the old man it builds up tension and foreboding around the character and deepens the plot. Since this happens right at the start it quickly engages the reader and pulls them in. This is the biggest learning point yet!

Lesson 14:  Always, always, always start your narratives – within the first sentence or two – with established tension, making sure the tension is directed at a main character: period. You are trying to catch a fish –the reader–  and tension is the favorite bait of your quarry.

Lastly, take notice of the extended consonance created between the two sentences also contributing to cohesion. Note the fffffffffffffffff sound throughout.  Here we notice; first, forty, after, forty, fish, definitely, finally, form, fish, first. Ten fffff words! It almost sounds like the ocean crashing on the shore or the wind as it blows by us out on a vast gulf stream. 

Lesson 15: Ffffffffifteen (get it), use background consonance. You may be able to use this technique in a way to deepen a scene similar to the methods writers used long ago by matching the environment with the scene's psychological underpinning as when a writer would describe a menacing storm approaching on the horizon with a building tension between two characters so as to create a psychic transference and personification of the storm.